How to navigate being the complete opposite of your partner

posted on June 24, 2020 | by Vanessa Peers

How to navigate being the complete opposite of your partner

They say opposites attract and that couldn’t be more true of me and my husband—I enjoy jazz whereas he likes anything but jazz; I couldn’t care less about cars whereas he knows everything about them; I could happily spend a day in a museum whereas that would likely bore my husband to death; at the end of a long week, I enjoy catching up with friends over a glass of wine while he prefers to blow off steam at a club (you get the point)!

I love my husband’s energetic and fun nature and admire so many of his qualities, but being so different from one another can be a bit annoying when I want a quiet wine night and he wants to party until 2 AM or he wants to plan a vacation somewhere I have no interest in going, just so that we can see a Formula 1 race. So, although it might not always be easy navigating life with your complete opposite by your side, after five years of marriage, we’ve found a few ways to help us live happily despite our differences.


This is arguably the crux of any relationship but it is even more important when you and your partner are complete opposites. For us, this means that occasionally I do join my husband at one of his trance parties or spend the weekend at the racetrack, but he also occasionally joins me at my favorite jazz bar! The most important thing here is to be sure to agree where and how often you are both willing to compromise, or else you might end up resenting each other if you feel you’re spending all of your time doing what your partner enjoys and not what you enjoy.

Give each other space

It is my firm belief that couples should not do everything together. Even if you are alike, I think that it is important for each person to maintain their independence—make sure to carve out time to spend with your own friends and explore your own interests and give your partner the space to do the same.  

Find a common interest

Without a doubt, there will be one or two things that you and your partner do have in common—perhaps you both enjoy movies or both love dogs. Make sure to find something that you both enjoy and make time for this common interest. My husband and I both love good food and wine (but often can’t be bothered to cook and clean) so we make a concerted effort to regularly try new restaurants in our city!

Are you and your partner complete opposites or two peas in a pod? Let us know some of the challenges you face and how you navigate being either very much alike or very different to one another.