FriendshipSocial Life

4 Ways to Be Social if You’re a Homebody

posted on October 24, 2018 | by Chelsea Becker

In my twenties, I was so damn social. My weeks were jam-packed with events, and I swear I was home one night a week, max. I loved seeing different groups of friends, having something to look forward to after work, and waking up to do it all again – until I didn’t. It was actually right around the time that I met my then-boyfriend now-husband that things started to change. He was more of a homebody, so naturally, I stopped going out as much while hanging at his house. And then I kinda fell in love with being a homebody.

That shift also coincided with hitting my late twenties. Naturally, I felt like going out less, I picked up healthy habits and made that a priority, and my living situation went from a dingy San Francisco apartment to a home shared with my partner. In general, I liked to be home more, but that didn’t mean I wanted to completely give up my social life.

So how do you combine being social and also a homebody? Let me explain what’s worked for me!

Create a balance

When I first found that I liked spending time at home, I became a hermit. This was around the time that I started working from home, too, and I noticed that I actually had a really hard time committing to plans to leave the house (at least during the week). While this laziness felt really good at first, it started to effect me. My friends called me out for bailing on plans, I spent wayyyy too much time in yoga pants, and I started feeling distant from certain good friends. Which is obviously not healthy!

Now, I’m all about a balance. I find that if I schedule too many plans in one week, I get anxiety and think of ways to cancel. But if I don’t make any plans, I don’t feel great either. My happy medium seems to be making one set of plans during the week, and having one weekday to be home and chill (or get life together), usually Sundays. This might only mean a few plans a week, but I find that it’s plenty.

Make it easy to host

I’m not talking about huge dinner parties every Friday night, but I do like knowing that my house is always ready to host. That means I can easily invite people over to hang without stressing about prepping. This also means I get to be social while staying in the comforts of my home!

I hired a house cleaner to come 2x a month so that the house always feels somewhat tidy. So instead of thinking I need to clean before inviting a friend over for a glass of wine, I know this is taken care of. I also keep a handful of things on hand: easy appetizers (usually cheese and crackers and some fruit), wine and sparking water (Spindrift is LIFE), a good playlist, and plastic disposable plates/utensils/etc. Also, a great list of takeout options!

With this list, you can always invite a friend over for a chill Thursday night without having to stress about getting everything together. It’s literally the easiest night ever. Just make sure you’re also going to other people’s houses – yours can’t be the only option if that’s not always easy for your friends.

Weekly phone dates

I actually covered this in my post on keeping friendships strong, but it’s SO key for staying social, too. I can easily feel disconnected from friends if I’m not chatting with them regularly – and for me, texts don’t always cover it. For the friends that I can’t see often (because of distance or schedules), I’m a huge fan of phone calls.

Try to pick times that mesh with your and your friend’s schedule. Maybe you both commute in the mornings and can do every Tuesday morning. Or you know a girlfriend takes her lunch at noon – that’s a perfect mid-day chat every week! Just don’t be afraid to pick up the phone. I promise it’ll make you feel a lot more connected, even if you’re sitting on your couch.

Join an online community

This won’t necessarily get you physical interaction, but it can keep your social skills thriving. Since finding out I was pregnant, I’ve joined a new mom’s group online which feels very inclusive. It could be any type of group – one surrounding your career, your interests, whatever you’re into! It’s amazing the kinds of relationships you can cultivate online, all without leaving the comforts of your home. So don’t be afraid to get creative with social avenues.

OK there’s gotta be more ideas that can be added to the list, so please don’t be shy! If you’re a social homebody, how do you accomplish both?